Epistle :: Give me cheeseball recipe! Please! I beg!

>
> *releases the shift button*
>
> Hello people. It has been requested that I should update everyone on my current welfare, so here goes *cracks knuckles*
>
> I'm doing fine, despite the demands of training. It seems that added responsibility has made me kind of a business oriented serious person, which I hate somewhat because I forget to laugh at all the things I usually do. I guess it means I have less time to be distracted or something.
>
> Work is going well. Sister Boulter has her head on straight if you know what I mean. She's a really cool girl. She plays lacrosse for BYU and helps run this cool mountain backpacky thing in the summer. She's really athletic and we run every day, so that's cool. Ironically enough, we were both worried about the same things before being paired up together; that is we were worried if the other wouldnt want to run in the mornings, but it's all good because we run at least a mile a day which is cool. My mile time still sucks, but it never really was that good. I'm at 9 minutes which is alright, considering the fact that at my best (running a couple years), my fastest time was only 7:50.
>
> Our apartment smells like mothballs, but at least it doesnt have the fleas anymore. I'm glad utah doesnt have fleas...or anthills, lol. We're going to go splurge on a candle warmer today since we cant have open flame in the apartment. We want to mask the mothball smell taht's seeped into the carpet and the occassional smell of illegal stuff that comes through the vents from upstairs.
>
> We've been riding our bikes. People kind of get a kick out of seeing us ride in skirts. I feel like I belong in the circus. Last week we found a park that had some large climbing walls (for kids), so we bouldered around and on top of them and daaaang. After a year of stagnance, my forearms were burning. It made me want to climb even more. I forgot how much I missed it! (we were climbing in pants at this point; it was p-day).
>
> Life is good right now. Obama is the president. I dont know what this entails at all except people in the black ghettos are shouting for joy and many of the white people in the local area are incredibly upset. At least I'm not in KKK country anymore, though, hehe. I feel sorry that Palin couldnt be vice pres. She looked like a cool chick. I saw a clip of her during Gustav and she has sass. I like her, even though I dont know what she stands for at all.
>
> Anyways, that's basically it. I'm still in the old guiness book of world records town for having the most churches per capita in the world. People here have very definite opinions about things. I've gotten into a couple bashes (involuntary! I could have logically torn them to shreds, but the spirit constraineth me! I need not waste my time...). It's amazing how much more I know about the bible/religion as a mildly educated 22 year old compared to most of the people I come in contact with. They cannot understand all the bible, though they understand parts.
>
> The biggest falacy I see with all other religions thus far is that they are not based on eternal principle, despite their so-called belief in an unchanging eternal god. To them, their own identity isnt eternal, neither is the basic structure of the family, niether is the structure by which god communicates with men. It's all temporary and transient. The idea of heaven itself escapes most people--they cannot begin to think of what it is except sitting around singing all day with harps. It just amazes me how complete knowledge is with the concept of the holy ghost and personal revelation. That supercedes even scripture, in my opinion, since scriptures are biproducts of revelation given to prophets. Everything is an appendage to revelation through the holy ghost. We wouldnt have scripture without this idea; and yet, most people believe that revelation has ceased. They talk about their beliefs in circles and much of what they say is riddled with contradictions.
>
> That is probably the reason why I couldnt belong to another religion is because of that basic fundamental difference: their idea of eternity is based on temporal passing things. All of the ways in which they define themselves, god, his church, and communication with him are based on things that are not eternal but temporary. To accept their views would be to accept less than what I currently have in terms of logical understanding and a spiritual sense of my own identity. I'm not willing to do that. And until I know of some belief that supercedes the completeness of understanding that my own provides, I dont suppose I'll ever change. I state it like that, because I ask people all day to consider our point of view and pray to know if it's right. Therefore, I have to be open to them and their ideas; otherwise i'd be a hypocrite. I will continue to remain open to other people's beliefs, but that doesnt mean I have to adopt them.
>
> Anyway, sorry. That paragraph was abounding in babble. I'm doing well....and...oh wait. I need something. It's critical. If you have what I need, please email me before next monday:
>
> I need cheeseball. I want the best cheeseball recipe you have. I like the cream cheese kind. I beg of you to respond if you have a good recipe! This is my thanksgiving! :D I would love it so much if i could have homemade something for thanksgiving and not tubes of croissants from walmart. So if you can, respond with a recipe. :D
>
> Thanks! And thanks for reading 'yall'! Take care!
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

---

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FW: Pump up the Drama! (I'm training, its scary!)

> Alright, this is a general message to a lot of people. First off, thanks for responding to the rebuke of oober drama. I'm glad you guys thought it was funny. I'm even happier to know that you guys care if I'm still alive. :D Being on a mission is being in an information vaccuum.
>
> I hear stuff about the economy, but because my magic allotment card fills up every month, I dont really know firsthand about it. I dont have a job, either. I also have a magic gas card that pumps my car full of gas, so I really havent been paying to much attention to gas prices (that is until the card expired last week and I had to use my food money, grrr).
>
> I hear a little about elections, but it's not really real, unless I'm driving down the ghetto and see a huge Obama sign in front of a shack and pimped up car. It's all heresay and rumor, and I'm afraid I've waited too long to get an absentee ballot (if not, mom/dad, please send one or something!).
>
> Even in the mission, I dont know what's going on. I'm in a forsaken outcast area, so I dont even hear from other missionaries, so it 'does me heart good' to see an email or a letter every once in awhile.
>
> Anyway--that's not what's dramatic--I'm training. Gah! Someone from Babylon is coming into the mission and I get to train her and and and......and...dang it, if there's one thing I've learned about myself on a mission, it's that I hate responsibility (not necissarily after I get it, just the process of getting it). It means accountability! It's easier just to avoid it and let it be someone else's deal...but I guess that kind of attitude is what God wants squished, because I'm training now.
>
> I've had a lot of fun with Sister Martin, who is leaving me. She is from France, and she has me convinced that I'm going to go there and visit her. :) They have a lot of stuff I like. Green mountains, small cars, fresh baked bread...and probably other stuff too. She lives in the south part too. :) It's warmer there.
>
> I've given her a lot of crap about france, actually (in jest; I make fun of america too just to keep things balanced). I told her this morning, in a moment of half-sleepiness that if france were to ever actually do anything, we would bomb the crap out of them and they couldnt do anything. The only thing france really owns is part of canada, some islands in the pacific, and Celine Dion, and only the last one could be considered a weapon of mass destruction. (rediculous untrue statements are fun, arent they? )
>
> Anyway, so I'm freakin out about training and stuff because I'm responsible for planning where we go every half hour of the day from 10-9 (with backups, so 2 people every half hour), how we teach, probably all the teaching now that I think about it, and and...
>
> I need to stop whining now. Life's good. I'll let you know how it goes. :D Mom, I got the shoes you sent me (the exchange went through). Thanks so much. The ones I'm wearing right now are spunky, but kind of old and might fall apart, so it came just in time!
>
> I'm glad to hear from any of you. Thank you for your letters!
>
> Till next time!
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

---

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FW: I Rebuke Thee!

>
> C H A P T E R 1
> 1--In the beginning was the inbox and the inbox was void of emails.
> 2--And Sister Pennock said, "Let the inbox be filled," and the inbox was not filled.
> 3--And Sister Pennock beheld the continuing void and was not pleased
> 4--And lo, it was the first day of the week and there was no email delivered, but this was good.
> 5--But on the second day was the mail delivered; yet the box remained empty.
> 6--Yea, even from the second day unto the seventh and the inbox did yield no email.
> 7--Even so, the box retained its void
> 8--And yea, great mists of darkness spread forth from the void and enshrouded Sister Pennock. Yea, and did bring much sadness to her otherwise cheery days.
> 9--Even the long hours of fruitless knocking, being attacked by the fouls of the air, and be pursued by the beasts of the field were not as disheartening as the lack of blessed objects known as emails.
> 10--Yet she persisted.
>
> C H A P T E R 2
> 1--And lo, on the second day of the second week the mists still encircled the inbox.
> 2--And on the third day, from within the depths of the void was a single message.
> 3—And this message put forth a ray of light that pierced the darkness and overcame the mists.
> 4—And Sister Pennock was well pleased, and there was much rejoicing.
> 5—But, alas, her exclamations of joy were in vain. For the message was spam.
> 6—But if her joy was so exceedingly great over spam, how great would be her joy at partaking of meaningful email?
>
> C H A P T E R 3
> 1—But some will say, An Email. An Email. We have already written an email. We have no need to write any more emails!
> 2—Know ye not that there are more days than one and more events than one in a day? Why think ye that these need not be reported?
> 3—Yea, and ye need not worry that your emails will go unanswered.
> 4—But you should say I will go and write the letter that Sister Pennock requests. For I know that she giveth no requests except she be prepared to speedily respond. Yea, and even as such for snail mail which she desire to receive but receiveth not.
> 5—And now we give unto you the parable of the self-addressed envelopes.
> 6—When the missionary departed into the far-off land, he gave a certain number of self-addressed, stamped envelopes to his friends.
> 7—Unto one he gave five, unto another he gave two, and unto the third, he gave one.
> 8—And while he was gone, he that was given the five envelopes wrote five letters, then in his zeal wrote five letters more.
> 9—The same with him that had two envelopes; He wrote two letters and then two letters more.
> 10—But he that was given the one self-addressed envelope became slothful and careless. And he lost the envelope, even that which he was given.
> 11—And when the missionary came home, he went unto his friends. And he that had written ten letters was warmly greeted.
> 12—The same with him that had written four letters.
> 13—But he that had written none at all was given nothing more than a fishy, wimp-like handshake.
>
> C H A P T E R 4
> 1--And the missionary said unto his friend, lovest thou me?
> 2—And the friend said, of course I love thee. Then the missionary said, fill my inbox.
> 3—He saith a second time, friend, lovest thou me? And the friend said, thou knowest that I love thee. Then he said, fill my inbox.
> 4-He then spake a third time saying, lovest thou me? And the friend said, thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee.
> 5—Then the missionary said, stuff my inbox.
> 6—And the vision is become unto all as the words of a letter that is sealed in the envelope that men deliver to one who is not serving a mission saying, Read this, I pray thee; and he saith, I cannot, for it is not mine.
> 7—And the letter is delivered to him that is serving a mission saying Read this I pray thee; and he said, why sure.
> 8—Therefore, you should proceed to do a marvelous work for a missionary, even a marvelous work and a wonder by writing her an email/letter.
>
>
>
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

---

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FW: Mother Nature Sneezes on Baton Rouge

> Subject: Mother Nature Sneezes on Baton Rouge
> From: MissWiggle@myldsmail.net
> To: Delimetrius@myldsmail.net; Geminiblue17@yahoo.com; trishlvpt@cox.net; benjaminjosephhale@myldsmail.net; im_here_im_there@hotmail.com; i_am_not_satan@hotmail.com; calicocool1@msn.com; tdpennock1953@yahoo.com; hilary.pennock@gmail.com; pamelapennock@hotmail.com; jmason@weber.k12.ut.us; seanpennock@gmail.com; bhpennock@yahoo.com; yvonneb1207x1@netzero.net
> Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 10:38:43 -0700
>
> [emily, please post to blog. Thanks! ]
>
>
> Okay, so some of you may be wondering why I haven't been my usual internet chatty self lately, what with responding to emails and filling your inboxes with spam. I haven't gotten to get online in weeks. Gustov freakin sucks. :D
>
> So, in a nutshell this is what's been going down lately. I'm in a strange military town called DeRidder near the border of Texas above Lake Charles. The whole town went into a freakin panic over the approach of hurricane Gustav. Gas was gone for days before it arrived. It was crazy. It made prostelyting really interesting too, btw. The shelves were bare at walmart. I haven't experienced anything like mass panic before this. It wasn't like...crazy panic, but it was just like a feeling in the air. Everything shut down. Wal-mart barricaded its doors with pallets and rolled up boxes. The normal traffic that keeps me up at night suddenly came to a stop, church was cancelled and the highway was turned into a contriflow evac route.
>
> All for what? A slight drizzle. Apparently, hurricanes have different sides to them. I was indeed in a hurricane, but I experienced Gustav's warm fuzzy calm side, which, by the way I dont mind in retrispect--that means I dont have to deal with stuff like power outages or flooding.
>
> Anyway, here's where things get interesting. I was in a threesome companionship and the other 2 girls went home because it was their time to go. The regular companionship shuffle of transfers got bumped back a week because of the hurricane. What does that mean? For a week, I was companionless and needed a place to stay. So, I got temporarily shoved in an old area called Denham Springs, which is just outside of Baton Rouge. Let me just tell you, this experience has been fricken sweet.
>
> Baton Rouge is a big city. It has a lot of people. There were trees down everywhere; powerlines were all over the place. The place was basically a shambles. There are still areas that do not have power and it has been some time since the damage was done.
>
> Anyway, when they told me that I was going to go stay in Denham until transfers happened, they didnt know exactly when transfers would take place, so they tell me "take an overnight bag." Then, they later said "take clothes for 3 days." Now, you have to understand that information goes down the grapevine, so to speak, so by the time this word got to me, the information was basically distorted. So whatever. I packed for 3 days, I have been here a week.
>
> When I got here, the power was out. No food. Nothing. So, while I made much preparation in DeRidder, that did jack for me because I'm not in DeRidder anymore. All of my extra food and water is just sitting up there, and I'm down here surviving. Fun enough right? Well, all that missionaries can do at the moment is service...regular prostelyting is pretty much a waste. Its like "hey, you've got a tree smashing your house in half, I think you need to hear about Jesus!"---nope, doesnt work. The best missionary work down here exists in service for the moment, so that's what I've been doing for the last week. Went and got some scrubs, gloves, shoes, and socks and went to work helping out with "Mormon Helping Hands."
>
> It's been fricking amazing. We've been cutting trees off of peoples roofs, hauling limbs, helping people pack up all they own because their house is now worthless. People are so appreciative of our service and we've had a blast doing it. My hands hurt, my muscles are sore, and I'm quite glad because being this exhausted really helps me sleep on that unbearable couch in the shack I'm staying in.
>
> Sunday rocked too. The stake center next to the temple in downtown Baton Rouge is still without power, so they spread out blue tarps on a hill overlooking the temple and we had sacrament meeting outside, all of us in pants and our yellow "mormon helping hands" shirts. The sacrament was blessed on a rickety table and passed out on paper plates, ice cube trays and milk crates with gaps just wide enough to hold the little cups. A member of the seventy spoke to us about how he was in this crazy accident in africa and how the nearest hospital was basically a shack with reudimentary supplies, but those simple supplies saved his life because he was in the middle of nowhere, and those supplies were all donated by our church, so this form of service we render literally saved his life. It was way cool.
>
> I find it funny, though, that I have had the opportunity to experience the aftermath of this storm, which is in all, much more dramatic than the storm itself. I will try and give pictures if this crazy email system will let me, but it is not unusual to see a house sliced in half. Apparently the news stopped covering the storm as soon as New Orleans didnt get hit hard, but I kid you not, other places did and Baton Rouge is not a small town. It got hit worse than it's ever been hit before, apparently. Alexandria is also flooded and that is not far from where I live. There have been plenty of people we've been able to help.
>
> Now it will be fun to see where Ike goes. I'm going to be completely honest: I hope the eye goes right over my freakin apartment. I got to experience all of the things about this hurricane except the wind blowing the trees around. I feel a little jipped. So, if you all could pray for Ike to hit eastern Texas really hard, that would be appreciated.
>
> (and no, praying for a natural disaster to strike communities and do major damage and ruin many peoples lives simply for the sake of my own selfish entertainment is not wrong---at least I dont think so-----maybe I'll pray about it--
>
>
> ----okay, it's wrong. But it would still be cool right? )
>
> Besides that piece of news, I am going to be companions with a girl from France, which is cool. She seems pretty cool already. We baptized a family of 4 right before Gustav hit, too, which was wayyyyy oober drama in and of itself. It was a very interesting baptisem and I'll tell you why; we weren't invited to it. For whatever reason, the family wanted privacy to the extent that they didnt even want the missionaries who taught them to be at it. Strange? Yes. Complicated? Oh so much more complicated than I just told you, but I will leave it at that for now. They're an amazing family and I'm so happy for them. The only thing more stressful than a baptisem for a missionary is a baptisem they aren't permitted to plan or attend. Usually people have last minute concerns and all sorts of stuff can go wrong, so it's usually stressful enough, and in this case, the situation seemed incredibly unstable so it was going to be rocky as it was. Then, we were forbidden to help in any way so we were left with nothing but prayers and man, we said a lot of them.
>
> This makes my mission actually pretty interesting too. This means that I will have been directly connected with at least 12 baptisems and at the moment have only attended 1 of them due to being transferred away at the last minute, and now this. *sigh* oh well, it's not about me or my attendance, and in this case the family had every right to make their request, especially considering their past experiences with some of the more charismatic churches...
>
> Anyway. So that's it. Big update. Big email. Big blog post of doom. Enjoy it.
>
> Last minute thoughts: Sorry if you've emailed me and I havent responded lately. I always respond to the emails I end up receiving (so if you have felt left out or in the dark about my welfare, just drop me a line). But lately, with the crap this hurricane has done, it's amazing that I can even email today. We had to leave our area to get to working computers. I hope you guys are doing well. I'm going to read the massive pile of email in my inbox and reply to it all now. So, peace out.
>
>
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

---

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FW: Pics and things!

> Subject: Pics and things!
> From: MissWiggle@myldsmail.net
> To: calicocool1@msn.com; Delimetrius@myldsmail.net; Geminiblue17@yahoo.com; trishlvpt@cox.net; benjaminjosephhale@myldsmail.net; im_here_im_there@hotmail.com; i_am_not_satan@hotmail.com; calicocool1@msn.com; tdpennock1953@yahoo.com; hilary.pennock@gmail.com; pamelapennock@hotmail.com; jmason@weber.k12.ut.us; seanpennock@gmail.com; bhpennock@yahoo.com; yvonneb1207x1@netzero.net
> Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 11:27:09 -0700
>
> Hey emily, please post these pictures. The comp just kicked me out. If you aren't emily, and many of you are, then just look at the pictures. :D I'm sending them to you to.
>
> I have more pics, but that's all it will allow. Kthxbai!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

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FW: Apologies of redundancies! :D

>
> Hello again. This is yet another general update, but before I babble off into oblivion, I must confess that being a missionary tends to make one feel like an alzheimers patient. I cannot remember the last time I updated this blog thing or what I said for that matter.
>
> With that said, forgive my repetitions and just deal with it. :D
>
> So, I'm no longer with the companion that was throwing tissy fits. :D I am with my trainer and my followup trainer and they are both going home at the end of the 6 weeks that I'll be with them. In missionary terminology I am killing them off. It's really fun because I've been with both of them before and I know that both of them are sane. AND it's really fun with 3 people because you always have someone to talk to. We've been staying up late at night talking about the most absurd things and having pillowfights. It really is kind of like a very very long sleepover.
>
> This last week was cool. I made friends with a peacock that had wandered astray and had been camping out in this lady's yard for 2 weeks and she didnt know what to do with it. So, i went outside and it walked right up to me and I gave it food and water and it liked me and followed me around the yard like a puppy. Then, we found it a home. :D
>
> A couple days after that, there was this insane lightning storm and me and Sister Fivas went out and danced in the rain like a bunch of drunken idiots while Sister Black stood under shelter because she has an ouce of common sense and didnt want to be struck by lightning. We finally convinced her to come out into the rain and lightning and just sit with us. She did and then she asked us "How safe ARE we..." and no sooner had she said that, a bolt of lightning struck about a block away and all the power went out. She freaked and me and sister fivas laughed hysterically. :D
>
> :) Yeah, so it's fun. World record for most churches per capita: check. SOOO many churches. Anyway, so that's it for now.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: "Benjamin Hale" <benjaminjosephhale@myldsmail.net>
> To: MissWiggle@myldsmail.net
> Date: Mon, 28 Jul 2008 16:37:52 +0000
> Subject: Re: [insert prologue here]
>
> H
> O
> L
> Y
>
> C.R.A.P. batman.
>
> That is just AMAZING. It's so wonderfully deep, yet simple. I could never come up with anything like that in 3 eternal rounds!
>
> The book of mormon infuence is evident, but it gives it a measure of depth no other supliment could top. The terms you defined and used are brilliant, and tie in with the whole 'Perpetual' theme perfectly. Take that Asimov! I'm absolutley and utterly amazed. I think I'm going to print this. Crap, can't print, saving it to my camera.
>
> Your concept of the Artificials puts my cat people to shame. What you have defined of them gives them such dimension. Their possiblilty is endless.
> Now the cat people need a name. Not much on their background history other than they are foreigners to the planet, and they migrated there somehow, and are now stranded. They have a lot of middle eastern influence with some asian stuck in there
>
> CRAP, I have to go. I'll get those drawings you wanted. See ya!
> -----Original Message-----
> From: "Rebecca Pennock" <MissWiggle@myldsmail.net>
> To: benjaminjosephhale@myldsmail.net
> Date: Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:35:11 -0700
> Subject: [insert prologue here]
>
> I have a bit more, but I ran out of time typing it. I wrote it all out by hand D:
>
> All i have to say about the writing style is, sorry. I havent written that much, and when all you read for a year is the book of mormon...well...some of the writing style is emulated, we'll just say that. XD
>
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)
>
>
>
>
>
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

---

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FW: [shoutout to Craft User and other cool peeps]

>
> Dear netizens, Craft User is cool. You want to know why? Because Craft User sent me a package about 3 months ago and in it was a painting. I meant to say thank you, but like a dunce, I threw away the packaging and with it the return address. And so, if you are craft user and you are reading this, Miss Wiggle says tyvm and you are woo7elicious. :D Sorry I didnt reply sooner, but I'm an idiot. It's been driving me nuts.
>
> Besides that, I'd like to shout out to Wayne (whose screen name I am notorious for forgetting seeing as I have asked you 3 times or so in our snail mails), Falmith (who is a busy person, but kind for mailing me. Art = yummy). Ally, who this last week sent a letter in behalf of the #cs crew. :D You are all quite cool because you took the time to mail me! I am working on replies as we speak, mwahaha!
>
> In other news, riding a bike in a skirt is rather funny looking and takes quite a bit of talent. :D I've ridden over 20 miles a day this last week because even though we have a car, it is not our car, and thus we have to abide by certain rules. Rules like you cannot drive over 1100 miles in a month...and when the end of the month comes, we get desperate and get on bikes in 98 degree weather. :D Biking is fun, though. It's very green here. The roads are totally not designed for it. I'm glad to still be alive, lawl. :b
>
> Anywho, that is all for now. Behold my shoutout and know that ye are not forgotten. Craft User, if you want me to send me the letter I wrote you before I realized I threw away your address, mail calicocool1@msn.com and she will forward it to me.
>
> That is all *salutes*
>

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