FW: I Rebuke Thee!

>
> C H A P T E R 1
> 1--In the beginning was the inbox and the inbox was void of emails.
> 2--And Sister Pennock said, "Let the inbox be filled," and the inbox was not filled.
> 3--And Sister Pennock beheld the continuing void and was not pleased
> 4--And lo, it was the first day of the week and there was no email delivered, but this was good.
> 5--But on the second day was the mail delivered; yet the box remained empty.
> 6--Yea, even from the second day unto the seventh and the inbox did yield no email.
> 7--Even so, the box retained its void
> 8--And yea, great mists of darkness spread forth from the void and enshrouded Sister Pennock. Yea, and did bring much sadness to her otherwise cheery days.
> 9--Even the long hours of fruitless knocking, being attacked by the fouls of the air, and be pursued by the beasts of the field were not as disheartening as the lack of blessed objects known as emails.
> 10--Yet she persisted.
>
> C H A P T E R 2
> 1--And lo, on the second day of the second week the mists still encircled the inbox.
> 2--And on the third day, from within the depths of the void was a single message.
> 3—And this message put forth a ray of light that pierced the darkness and overcame the mists.
> 4—And Sister Pennock was well pleased, and there was much rejoicing.
> 5—But, alas, her exclamations of joy were in vain. For the message was spam.
> 6—But if her joy was so exceedingly great over spam, how great would be her joy at partaking of meaningful email?
>
> C H A P T E R 3
> 1—But some will say, An Email. An Email. We have already written an email. We have no need to write any more emails!
> 2—Know ye not that there are more days than one and more events than one in a day? Why think ye that these need not be reported?
> 3—Yea, and ye need not worry that your emails will go unanswered.
> 4—But you should say I will go and write the letter that Sister Pennock requests. For I know that she giveth no requests except she be prepared to speedily respond. Yea, and even as such for snail mail which she desire to receive but receiveth not.
> 5—And now we give unto you the parable of the self-addressed envelopes.
> 6—When the missionary departed into the far-off land, he gave a certain number of self-addressed, stamped envelopes to his friends.
> 7—Unto one he gave five, unto another he gave two, and unto the third, he gave one.
> 8—And while he was gone, he that was given the five envelopes wrote five letters, then in his zeal wrote five letters more.
> 9—The same with him that had two envelopes; He wrote two letters and then two letters more.
> 10—But he that was given the one self-addressed envelope became slothful and careless. And he lost the envelope, even that which he was given.
> 11—And when the missionary came home, he went unto his friends. And he that had written ten letters was warmly greeted.
> 12—The same with him that had written four letters.
> 13—But he that had written none at all was given nothing more than a fishy, wimp-like handshake.
>
> C H A P T E R 4
> 1--And the missionary said unto his friend, lovest thou me?
> 2—And the friend said, of course I love thee. Then the missionary said, fill my inbox.
> 3—He saith a second time, friend, lovest thou me? And the friend said, thou knowest that I love thee. Then he said, fill my inbox.
> 4-He then spake a third time saying, lovest thou me? And the friend said, thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee.
> 5—Then the missionary said, stuff my inbox.
> 6—And the vision is become unto all as the words of a letter that is sealed in the envelope that men deliver to one who is not serving a mission saying, Read this, I pray thee; and he saith, I cannot, for it is not mine.
> 7—And the letter is delivered to him that is serving a mission saying Read this I pray thee; and he said, why sure.
> 8—Therefore, you should proceed to do a marvelous work for a missionary, even a marvelous work and a wonder by writing her an email/letter.
>
>
>
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

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FW: Mother Nature Sneezes on Baton Rouge

> Subject: Mother Nature Sneezes on Baton Rouge
> From: MissWiggle@myldsmail.net
> To: Delimetrius@myldsmail.net; Geminiblue17@yahoo.com; trishlvpt@cox.net; benjaminjosephhale@myldsmail.net; im_here_im_there@hotmail.com; i_am_not_satan@hotmail.com; calicocool1@msn.com; tdpennock1953@yahoo.com; hilary.pennock@gmail.com; pamelapennock@hotmail.com; jmason@weber.k12.ut.us; seanpennock@gmail.com; bhpennock@yahoo.com; yvonneb1207x1@netzero.net
> Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 10:38:43 -0700
>
> [emily, please post to blog. Thanks! ]
>
>
> Okay, so some of you may be wondering why I haven't been my usual internet chatty self lately, what with responding to emails and filling your inboxes with spam. I haven't gotten to get online in weeks. Gustov freakin sucks. :D
>
> So, in a nutshell this is what's been going down lately. I'm in a strange military town called DeRidder near the border of Texas above Lake Charles. The whole town went into a freakin panic over the approach of hurricane Gustav. Gas was gone for days before it arrived. It was crazy. It made prostelyting really interesting too, btw. The shelves were bare at walmart. I haven't experienced anything like mass panic before this. It wasn't like...crazy panic, but it was just like a feeling in the air. Everything shut down. Wal-mart barricaded its doors with pallets and rolled up boxes. The normal traffic that keeps me up at night suddenly came to a stop, church was cancelled and the highway was turned into a contriflow evac route.
>
> All for what? A slight drizzle. Apparently, hurricanes have different sides to them. I was indeed in a hurricane, but I experienced Gustav's warm fuzzy calm side, which, by the way I dont mind in retrispect--that means I dont have to deal with stuff like power outages or flooding.
>
> Anyway, here's where things get interesting. I was in a threesome companionship and the other 2 girls went home because it was their time to go. The regular companionship shuffle of transfers got bumped back a week because of the hurricane. What does that mean? For a week, I was companionless and needed a place to stay. So, I got temporarily shoved in an old area called Denham Springs, which is just outside of Baton Rouge. Let me just tell you, this experience has been fricken sweet.
>
> Baton Rouge is a big city. It has a lot of people. There were trees down everywhere; powerlines were all over the place. The place was basically a shambles. There are still areas that do not have power and it has been some time since the damage was done.
>
> Anyway, when they told me that I was going to go stay in Denham until transfers happened, they didnt know exactly when transfers would take place, so they tell me "take an overnight bag." Then, they later said "take clothes for 3 days." Now, you have to understand that information goes down the grapevine, so to speak, so by the time this word got to me, the information was basically distorted. So whatever. I packed for 3 days, I have been here a week.
>
> When I got here, the power was out. No food. Nothing. So, while I made much preparation in DeRidder, that did jack for me because I'm not in DeRidder anymore. All of my extra food and water is just sitting up there, and I'm down here surviving. Fun enough right? Well, all that missionaries can do at the moment is service...regular prostelyting is pretty much a waste. Its like "hey, you've got a tree smashing your house in half, I think you need to hear about Jesus!"---nope, doesnt work. The best missionary work down here exists in service for the moment, so that's what I've been doing for the last week. Went and got some scrubs, gloves, shoes, and socks and went to work helping out with "Mormon Helping Hands."
>
> It's been fricking amazing. We've been cutting trees off of peoples roofs, hauling limbs, helping people pack up all they own because their house is now worthless. People are so appreciative of our service and we've had a blast doing it. My hands hurt, my muscles are sore, and I'm quite glad because being this exhausted really helps me sleep on that unbearable couch in the shack I'm staying in.
>
> Sunday rocked too. The stake center next to the temple in downtown Baton Rouge is still without power, so they spread out blue tarps on a hill overlooking the temple and we had sacrament meeting outside, all of us in pants and our yellow "mormon helping hands" shirts. The sacrament was blessed on a rickety table and passed out on paper plates, ice cube trays and milk crates with gaps just wide enough to hold the little cups. A member of the seventy spoke to us about how he was in this crazy accident in africa and how the nearest hospital was basically a shack with reudimentary supplies, but those simple supplies saved his life because he was in the middle of nowhere, and those supplies were all donated by our church, so this form of service we render literally saved his life. It was way cool.
>
> I find it funny, though, that I have had the opportunity to experience the aftermath of this storm, which is in all, much more dramatic than the storm itself. I will try and give pictures if this crazy email system will let me, but it is not unusual to see a house sliced in half. Apparently the news stopped covering the storm as soon as New Orleans didnt get hit hard, but I kid you not, other places did and Baton Rouge is not a small town. It got hit worse than it's ever been hit before, apparently. Alexandria is also flooded and that is not far from where I live. There have been plenty of people we've been able to help.
>
> Now it will be fun to see where Ike goes. I'm going to be completely honest: I hope the eye goes right over my freakin apartment. I got to experience all of the things about this hurricane except the wind blowing the trees around. I feel a little jipped. So, if you all could pray for Ike to hit eastern Texas really hard, that would be appreciated.
>
> (and no, praying for a natural disaster to strike communities and do major damage and ruin many peoples lives simply for the sake of my own selfish entertainment is not wrong---at least I dont think so-----maybe I'll pray about it--
>
>
> ----okay, it's wrong. But it would still be cool right? )
>
> Besides that piece of news, I am going to be companions with a girl from France, which is cool. She seems pretty cool already. We baptized a family of 4 right before Gustav hit, too, which was wayyyyy oober drama in and of itself. It was a very interesting baptisem and I'll tell you why; we weren't invited to it. For whatever reason, the family wanted privacy to the extent that they didnt even want the missionaries who taught them to be at it. Strange? Yes. Complicated? Oh so much more complicated than I just told you, but I will leave it at that for now. They're an amazing family and I'm so happy for them. The only thing more stressful than a baptisem for a missionary is a baptisem they aren't permitted to plan or attend. Usually people have last minute concerns and all sorts of stuff can go wrong, so it's usually stressful enough, and in this case, the situation seemed incredibly unstable so it was going to be rocky as it was. Then, we were forbidden to help in any way so we were left with nothing but prayers and man, we said a lot of them.
>
> This makes my mission actually pretty interesting too. This means that I will have been directly connected with at least 12 baptisems and at the moment have only attended 1 of them due to being transferred away at the last minute, and now this. *sigh* oh well, it's not about me or my attendance, and in this case the family had every right to make their request, especially considering their past experiences with some of the more charismatic churches...
>
> Anyway. So that's it. Big update. Big email. Big blog post of doom. Enjoy it.
>
> Last minute thoughts: Sorry if you've emailed me and I havent responded lately. I always respond to the emails I end up receiving (so if you have felt left out or in the dark about my welfare, just drop me a line). But lately, with the crap this hurricane has done, it's amazing that I can even email today. We had to leave our area to get to working computers. I hope you guys are doing well. I'm going to read the massive pile of email in my inbox and reply to it all now. So, peace out.
>
>
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

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FW: Pics and things!

> Subject: Pics and things!
> From: MissWiggle@myldsmail.net
> To: calicocool1@msn.com; Delimetrius@myldsmail.net; Geminiblue17@yahoo.com; trishlvpt@cox.net; benjaminjosephhale@myldsmail.net; im_here_im_there@hotmail.com; i_am_not_satan@hotmail.com; calicocool1@msn.com; tdpennock1953@yahoo.com; hilary.pennock@gmail.com; pamelapennock@hotmail.com; jmason@weber.k12.ut.us; seanpennock@gmail.com; bhpennock@yahoo.com; yvonneb1207x1@netzero.net
> Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 11:27:09 -0700
>
> Hey emily, please post these pictures. The comp just kicked me out. If you aren't emily, and many of you are, then just look at the pictures. :D I'm sending them to you to.
>
> I have more pics, but that's all it will allow. Kthxbai!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

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