Re:

...My friend! I think you should visit this new shop immediately!  http://alpha-photo.fr/friends.page.php?jqalink_friend_id=09ub7

I'm afraid I'm guilty of a pattern of thinking with which I am familiar and have despised as I have observed it. Realizing this, I thought I'd document my thoughts on paper regarding what I've learned.

When people leave the church, they usually do so because of refusal to deal with an issue. They either don't know something completely and therefore criticize it, or their actions are in conflict with what they do know, but are unwilling to change their behavior. It's easier to remain ignorant than to research truth at it's source, it's easier to adopt and alternate code of morality than change a pattern of behavior.

I went to institute for the first time and in the class they negatively mentioned muslims, evolution, and socialism. The point is, I recognized that such contriversial comments were the commentary of the teacher and not that of the church itself or its doctrine. As a consequence of hearing such things discussed in class, I became quite angry. I even fitfully did light research 'proving' him wrong and started to write the base of an essay on one of the topics.

The point is, those who deal with their issues seek understanding and accept what they find. They know its true because it brings a sense of completion and peace of mind. This kind of conclusion isn't to do away with criticism or questioning; by all means, criticize and question. What I'm getting at is the attitude behind the questioning. Do you really want an explaination, or are you just looking for ways to justify the confusion and anger inside of you? I'm afraid that's what I was doing. As a result of screaming and shouting within my own mind and soul, leaving no room for listening for even a hint of an answer logically or spiritually, my questions turned to anger rather than conclusion, and my anger turned to judgement of the system itself with me as the supreme judge.

Moral relativism, or self justification, is the kind of thinking that can be summed up as "the world revolves around me" thinking. In a sense, you play god when you do that, determining everything you can define by how you choose to define things. You rate the value and validity of everything else by how it relates to you. It's a grossly limited perspective, fragmentary and conflationary. In such realm of thought, one cannot possibly see the world in terms of improvement. The lense of moral relitivistic criticism paints a future that can only be lesser or darker and at best, can only remain as broken and flawed as you currently see it. It's no wonder that thinking leads to anger; it essentially blots out hope, which is essential to faith and improvement.

I was doing that with the institute system. I wasn't dealing with my personal issue, and thus I was becoming heatedly angry and blaming the system. However, the fact that I was so upheaved by a simple class disturbed me--almost as much as the fact that this anger lingered and didn't dissipate. It was insatiable. Is such a feeling a result of an educational institution or a deeper problem within the individual? It is certainly the latter.

As soon as I realized this, I saw I had been following a train of thought and pattern of behavior I have seen hundreds succom to. Recognizing that I was not exempt to such spiritual kankering, I realized that my issue lay not within the authority or doctrine, but within the flaws of people.

Namely, teachers preaching their opinion and overgeneralizing sensative and complicated scientific, societal, and political issues. Does the church endorse these opinoins? No. Do the teachers mean to do it? Perhaps, perhaps not. But every one of us sees reality from a completely unique perspective and communication is a way to bridge ideas between people. Every individual's perception is flawed to some degree in reletion to absolute truth. We can come close to knowing complete truth, but we asymptotically will never in this life fully understand everything (and that doesn't just apply to religion). We simply aren't mentally capable of the task, nor is it necessary for us at this point.

In any case, the flaws and limitations of human perception are ultimately unavoidable. If what we see is not completely true, then what we say cannot be completely true either; truth will be interwoven with perceptual flaws the speaker is not aware of. So, to blame this man for his intellectual conflict of opinion with my own is a war that will have no positive conclusion since I am undoubtedly guilty of the same thing. It's inevitable that this will happen and there is nothing that I can do that will change the fact that we do not agree.

By not accepting this fact and dealing with this issue, I could justify myself into a course of action that would limit my own personal growth and potential. Isn't that the point of mortality becoming a better person and within our personal influence making the world a better place too? And isn't it the adversary's mission to distract me from truth? Through such diversion, I could become lost, aiming for any mark but the right one, and left to myself my whole being would follow the destructive pattern of thought previously described. I would retrograde and conflate, and thus my grandest hope becomes to remain as I am, but with time and mistakes, inevitably become less. Like they say, as a man thinketh so is he. Our thought patterns become our identity. Well, i choose a better identity than that.

What a clever trick to induce doubt. I'm sure--no, i know--it happens all the time and leads to every form personal and societal decay imagineable. I can only thank god for the awareness I have, which comes by reason and spiritual assurance. If only this could be the last time I have to learn this lesson. Hopefully, though, I'll remember long enough to avoid this mistake for as long as I can.

FW: Le gasp! Spirituality from Becky?

> Subject: Le gasp! Spirituality from Becky?
> From: MissWiggle@myldsmail.net
> To: calicocool1@msn.com; i_am_not_satan@hotmail.com; pamelapennock@hotmail.com; Delimetrius@myldsmail.net; yvonneb1207x1@netzero.net; benjaminjosephhale@myldsmail.net; bhpennock@yahoo.com; Geminiblue17@yahoo.com; jmason@weber.k12.ut.us; trishlvpt@cox.net; im_here_im_there@hotmail.com; hilary.pennock@gmail.com; tdpennock1953@yahoo.com; seanpennock@gmail.com
> Date: Tue, 20 Jan 2009 16:52:46 -0500
>
> Behold another of mine epistles to yonder heathen Utohnians and others scattered across the face of this good land. I have had cool stuff happen this week that I deem worthy of epistling you about.
>
> So, if you didnt get this impression from the last several epistles I have made, my last area, or the last 6 months of my mission pretty much sucked. It was one of those cases where try as I might from every angle I knew how, nothing went right. I tried the suggestions of every companion (totalling 5 in that area), ever district leader, every zone leader and even the president of the mission, as to how to make something right when everything else was going wrong. None of them were able to give me advice sufficient to improve the work--basically because everything was literally exausted.
>
> The point I make in bringing that up is the fact that I felt somewhat cheated by being put there for so long and having nothing literally nothing to show for it. The family I helped get baptized when I first got there had their names removed as a final kick in the pants. It had me so stressed I ran off very little sleep (try 45 minutes).
>
> All of this and I kid you not, I would do it again. This week was amazing and it was all made up for in a matter of hours.
>
> There is a woman named Crystal who started coming back to church right when I got to Deridder. We hung out with her a bit and answered a lot of questions she had (because there was a lot she had forgotten), and helped her with some problems that she was having. She got to trust us and we got way super tight with her while we were up there. Her nonmember husband who was very anti to missionaries warmed up to us because he got to see that we were just people and not prostelyting baptizing robots.
>
> We helped her get her patriarchal blessing while I was there, which answered some of her biggest concerns she has in life right now. This week, despite Sister Pilette and I being sent to different areas, were able to go with Crystal to the temple. It was so cool. Just the chances of sister Pilette and I getting sent to areas in which we would be permitted to attend the temple were slim, but it happened, and we planned it in advance, we all showed up at the right time and it happened like clockwork.
>
> Like I told Crystal in the temple, every amount of crap gone through in the last 6 months was worth those few hours we spent with her. She's such a cool chick. We have vowed to do it again someday as a reunion kind of thing.
>
> In other news, Charly (a lady i helped get baptized a year ago) will probably be going to the temple in March (which means I has to beg on the street like a hobo to finance it but I'm gonna be there, booya!).
>
> So, yeah. There are reasons to everything and god places people ino areas that they can handle. I am glad I had sister Pilette and crystal for my sanity for the last 6 months and I'm overjoyed that I got to share in the completely awsome experience of helping her get her endowments taken out.
>
> It'd been a long time since I'd been to the temple, actually. I've only been 4 times and the last time was a year ago, so I basically needed escorting as well, haha! Sister Pilette was a fine escort and I helped Crystal feel like she wasnt messing up quite as bad. :b
>
> Anyways, that's it. :D
>
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

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I put the Ho in Ho Ho Ho! :D

> Merry christmas everyone! I just want to say first off, that I love rediculous traditions that make me laugh and Mr. Magoo's Christmas is one of them. If you dont know what I'm talking about, you are a sheltered child, because that movie is hysterical and it tears me up that I can't watch it on christmas eve for the 2nd year in a row.
>
> BUT, good news in the way of christmas, concerning your most beloved Sister Pennock: We actually have christmas invites this year. We're set up to have a rockin time and a recently reactivated woman's house (her name is Crystal and she's bomb). She's getting ready to go through the temple for the first time--she's on fire! Anyway, she's way chill and that is where I shall be calling Andrew from on christmas morning.
>
> I know my immediate family is staying in Vegas for christmas. Thought you guys could avoid teh snow? Think again! hahah! My current comp is from Henderson (which is...well, Las Vegas) and she's ways cool. Her name is Sister Pilette and she's been baptized for 4 years. She loves going to concerts and I'm afraid just being around her has infected me with a desire to go myself (emily, think of people you want to see in summer of 09 and we'll go!). She's also inspired me to look into a group called Anberlin. :D Weee!
>
> It's cold here right now. I'm out in what my comp calls BFE (which means Beyond Fricken Egypt, by interpretation). We're basically in texas. I've been here for 6 months. I will be moving as of the 8th of January (my mission pres spilled the news to me), so if you have an address that says something like 401 Somerset, DeRidder LA, do not send it there unless it gets here before the 6th or so, because otherwise I wont get it at all.
>
> So, I must tell you about our christmas tree because it's hillarious. First off, let me say that missionary apartments are the most ghetto things on earth and are filled with the most random things ever (like street signs, confederate flags, and whatnot). So, we found a christmas tree about 2 feet tall and dressed it up with lights, but realized we didnt have a star for it. So Sister Pilette digs in her bags and gets out a huge fatty star belt buckle. This thing is glorious. It's huge and white and is lined with rhinestones. We put that on top of our tree and dug out the varieties of bling we've collected on our missions thus far (including the cheap-a wedding ring I was given last lear and a very large blingy gold crucifix necklace) and blung our tree up and strung christmas lights all around the room. There are even lights lining Sister Pilette's LSU Battle Flag (which is basically a confederate flag only the colors are gold and purple for lsu).
>
> Tis the season, eh? :D It actually snowed here too. It lightly dusted and people freaked out. Schools throughout the whole parish closed and, well...it was rediculous to say the least. I see that Vegas is buried in snow, currently. That certainly must be leading to a lot of accidents. :b
>
> So christmas is awsome this year so far. Tell grandma and grandpa pennock hi and that I love them and all that jazz. Communication to them is scanty because they dont have email. Send the message on! And tell them I love the subway gift card! Especially since I only have 35 bucks for the rest of the month..ehheheh.
>
> Merry Christmas! :D
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

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Epistle :: Give me cheeseball recipe! Please! I beg!

>
> *releases the shift button*
>
> Hello people. It has been requested that I should update everyone on my current welfare, so here goes *cracks knuckles*
>
> I'm doing fine, despite the demands of training. It seems that added responsibility has made me kind of a business oriented serious person, which I hate somewhat because I forget to laugh at all the things I usually do. I guess it means I have less time to be distracted or something.
>
> Work is going well. Sister Boulter has her head on straight if you know what I mean. She's a really cool girl. She plays lacrosse for BYU and helps run this cool mountain backpacky thing in the summer. She's really athletic and we run every day, so that's cool. Ironically enough, we were both worried about the same things before being paired up together; that is we were worried if the other wouldnt want to run in the mornings, but it's all good because we run at least a mile a day which is cool. My mile time still sucks, but it never really was that good. I'm at 9 minutes which is alright, considering the fact that at my best (running a couple years), my fastest time was only 7:50.
>
> Our apartment smells like mothballs, but at least it doesnt have the fleas anymore. I'm glad utah doesnt have fleas...or anthills, lol. We're going to go splurge on a candle warmer today since we cant have open flame in the apartment. We want to mask the mothball smell taht's seeped into the carpet and the occassional smell of illegal stuff that comes through the vents from upstairs.
>
> We've been riding our bikes. People kind of get a kick out of seeing us ride in skirts. I feel like I belong in the circus. Last week we found a park that had some large climbing walls (for kids), so we bouldered around and on top of them and daaaang. After a year of stagnance, my forearms were burning. It made me want to climb even more. I forgot how much I missed it! (we were climbing in pants at this point; it was p-day).
>
> Life is good right now. Obama is the president. I dont know what this entails at all except people in the black ghettos are shouting for joy and many of the white people in the local area are incredibly upset. At least I'm not in KKK country anymore, though, hehe. I feel sorry that Palin couldnt be vice pres. She looked like a cool chick. I saw a clip of her during Gustav and she has sass. I like her, even though I dont know what she stands for at all.
>
> Anyways, that's basically it. I'm still in the old guiness book of world records town for having the most churches per capita in the world. People here have very definite opinions about things. I've gotten into a couple bashes (involuntary! I could have logically torn them to shreds, but the spirit constraineth me! I need not waste my time...). It's amazing how much more I know about the bible/religion as a mildly educated 22 year old compared to most of the people I come in contact with. They cannot understand all the bible, though they understand parts.
>
> The biggest falacy I see with all other religions thus far is that they are not based on eternal principle, despite their so-called belief in an unchanging eternal god. To them, their own identity isnt eternal, neither is the basic structure of the family, niether is the structure by which god communicates with men. It's all temporary and transient. The idea of heaven itself escapes most people--they cannot begin to think of what it is except sitting around singing all day with harps. It just amazes me how complete knowledge is with the concept of the holy ghost and personal revelation. That supercedes even scripture, in my opinion, since scriptures are biproducts of revelation given to prophets. Everything is an appendage to revelation through the holy ghost. We wouldnt have scripture without this idea; and yet, most people believe that revelation has ceased. They talk about their beliefs in circles and much of what they say is riddled with contradictions.
>
> That is probably the reason why I couldnt belong to another religion is because of that basic fundamental difference: their idea of eternity is based on temporal passing things. All of the ways in which they define themselves, god, his church, and communication with him are based on things that are not eternal but temporary. To accept their views would be to accept less than what I currently have in terms of logical understanding and a spiritual sense of my own identity. I'm not willing to do that. And until I know of some belief that supercedes the completeness of understanding that my own provides, I dont suppose I'll ever change. I state it like that, because I ask people all day to consider our point of view and pray to know if it's right. Therefore, I have to be open to them and their ideas; otherwise i'd be a hypocrite. I will continue to remain open to other people's beliefs, but that doesnt mean I have to adopt them.
>
> Anyway, sorry. That paragraph was abounding in babble. I'm doing well....and...oh wait. I need something. It's critical. If you have what I need, please email me before next monday:
>
> I need cheeseball. I want the best cheeseball recipe you have. I like the cream cheese kind. I beg of you to respond if you have a good recipe! This is my thanksgiving! :D I would love it so much if i could have homemade something for thanksgiving and not tubes of croissants from walmart. So if you can, respond with a recipe. :D
>
> Thanks! And thanks for reading 'yall'! Take care!
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

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FW: Pump up the Drama! (I'm training, its scary!)

> Alright, this is a general message to a lot of people. First off, thanks for responding to the rebuke of oober drama. I'm glad you guys thought it was funny. I'm even happier to know that you guys care if I'm still alive. :D Being on a mission is being in an information vaccuum.
>
> I hear stuff about the economy, but because my magic allotment card fills up every month, I dont really know firsthand about it. I dont have a job, either. I also have a magic gas card that pumps my car full of gas, so I really havent been paying to much attention to gas prices (that is until the card expired last week and I had to use my food money, grrr).
>
> I hear a little about elections, but it's not really real, unless I'm driving down the ghetto and see a huge Obama sign in front of a shack and pimped up car. It's all heresay and rumor, and I'm afraid I've waited too long to get an absentee ballot (if not, mom/dad, please send one or something!).
>
> Even in the mission, I dont know what's going on. I'm in a forsaken outcast area, so I dont even hear from other missionaries, so it 'does me heart good' to see an email or a letter every once in awhile.
>
> Anyway--that's not what's dramatic--I'm training. Gah! Someone from Babylon is coming into the mission and I get to train her and and and......and...dang it, if there's one thing I've learned about myself on a mission, it's that I hate responsibility (not necissarily after I get it, just the process of getting it). It means accountability! It's easier just to avoid it and let it be someone else's deal...but I guess that kind of attitude is what God wants squished, because I'm training now.
>
> I've had a lot of fun with Sister Martin, who is leaving me. She is from France, and she has me convinced that I'm going to go there and visit her. :) They have a lot of stuff I like. Green mountains, small cars, fresh baked bread...and probably other stuff too. She lives in the south part too. :) It's warmer there.
>
> I've given her a lot of crap about france, actually (in jest; I make fun of america too just to keep things balanced). I told her this morning, in a moment of half-sleepiness that if france were to ever actually do anything, we would bomb the crap out of them and they couldnt do anything. The only thing france really owns is part of canada, some islands in the pacific, and Celine Dion, and only the last one could be considered a weapon of mass destruction. (rediculous untrue statements are fun, arent they? )
>
> Anyway, so I'm freakin out about training and stuff because I'm responsible for planning where we go every half hour of the day from 10-9 (with backups, so 2 people every half hour), how we teach, probably all the teaching now that I think about it, and and...
>
> I need to stop whining now. Life's good. I'll let you know how it goes. :D Mom, I got the shoes you sent me (the exchange went through). Thanks so much. The ones I'm wearing right now are spunky, but kind of old and might fall apart, so it came just in time!
>
> I'm glad to hear from any of you. Thank you for your letters!
>
> Till next time!
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

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FW: I Rebuke Thee!

>
> C H A P T E R 1
> 1--In the beginning was the inbox and the inbox was void of emails.
> 2--And Sister Pennock said, "Let the inbox be filled," and the inbox was not filled.
> 3--And Sister Pennock beheld the continuing void and was not pleased
> 4--And lo, it was the first day of the week and there was no email delivered, but this was good.
> 5--But on the second day was the mail delivered; yet the box remained empty.
> 6--Yea, even from the second day unto the seventh and the inbox did yield no email.
> 7--Even so, the box retained its void
> 8--And yea, great mists of darkness spread forth from the void and enshrouded Sister Pennock. Yea, and did bring much sadness to her otherwise cheery days.
> 9--Even the long hours of fruitless knocking, being attacked by the fouls of the air, and be pursued by the beasts of the field were not as disheartening as the lack of blessed objects known as emails.
> 10--Yet she persisted.
>
> C H A P T E R 2
> 1--And lo, on the second day of the second week the mists still encircled the inbox.
> 2--And on the third day, from within the depths of the void was a single message.
> 3—And this message put forth a ray of light that pierced the darkness and overcame the mists.
> 4—And Sister Pennock was well pleased, and there was much rejoicing.
> 5—But, alas, her exclamations of joy were in vain. For the message was spam.
> 6—But if her joy was so exceedingly great over spam, how great would be her joy at partaking of meaningful email?
>
> C H A P T E R 3
> 1—But some will say, An Email. An Email. We have already written an email. We have no need to write any more emails!
> 2—Know ye not that there are more days than one and more events than one in a day? Why think ye that these need not be reported?
> 3—Yea, and ye need not worry that your emails will go unanswered.
> 4—But you should say I will go and write the letter that Sister Pennock requests. For I know that she giveth no requests except she be prepared to speedily respond. Yea, and even as such for snail mail which she desire to receive but receiveth not.
> 5—And now we give unto you the parable of the self-addressed envelopes.
> 6—When the missionary departed into the far-off land, he gave a certain number of self-addressed, stamped envelopes to his friends.
> 7—Unto one he gave five, unto another he gave two, and unto the third, he gave one.
> 8—And while he was gone, he that was given the five envelopes wrote five letters, then in his zeal wrote five letters more.
> 9—The same with him that had two envelopes; He wrote two letters and then two letters more.
> 10—But he that was given the one self-addressed envelope became slothful and careless. And he lost the envelope, even that which he was given.
> 11—And when the missionary came home, he went unto his friends. And he that had written ten letters was warmly greeted.
> 12—The same with him that had written four letters.
> 13—But he that had written none at all was given nothing more than a fishy, wimp-like handshake.
>
> C H A P T E R 4
> 1--And the missionary said unto his friend, lovest thou me?
> 2—And the friend said, of course I love thee. Then the missionary said, fill my inbox.
> 3—He saith a second time, friend, lovest thou me? And the friend said, thou knowest that I love thee. Then he said, fill my inbox.
> 4-He then spake a third time saying, lovest thou me? And the friend said, thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee.
> 5—Then the missionary said, stuff my inbox.
> 6—And the vision is become unto all as the words of a letter that is sealed in the envelope that men deliver to one who is not serving a mission saying, Read this, I pray thee; and he saith, I cannot, for it is not mine.
> 7—And the letter is delivered to him that is serving a mission saying Read this I pray thee; and he said, why sure.
> 8—Therefore, you should proceed to do a marvelous work for a missionary, even a marvelous work and a wonder by writing her an email/letter.
>
>
>
> -Sistopolus Pennonicus (of the redundus profundus variety)

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